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  • Writer's pictureadaravalarie

41 Life Lessons to Live

With each year, my life is becoming a series of #OKBOOMER moments. And that’s “ok”. I have fun with it and take it all in stride. Because truth be told, I’m finally in a place where I’m truly comfortable in my own skin. A place I’ve been fighting to be at for 41 years.

And I’m also at a place where I’m not afraid to voice my thoughts, wants, needs and opinions. And lemme tell you, it feels so damn good!

So without further ado, here are my 41 best (sometimes humorous) pieces of Yoda-like nuggets of wisdom that I’ve learned in 41 Years:


  1. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. We all need a mental tune up from time to time.

  2. Don’t take everything so personal. Guess what, it’s not always about you. People have lives and you aren’t always the center of them.

  3. Believe in yourself. If you don’t, then who will?

  4. Trust your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t right.

  5. Not everyone will like you. And that’s OK. Remember, not everyone deserves to be in your tribe.

  6. Be proud of who you are. Black, white, gay, straight, tall, short and etc. Whoever you are, stand tall and be proud!

  7. Learn to budget. I cannot stress this enough. Not sure where to start? Read anything by Dave Ramsey.

  8. Do some hoodrat things every once in a while. We ALL have a “Vegas Story”. Just don’t do anything that will get you arrested or anything that will harm another person or animal.

  9. Fail every once in a while. This is truly the way you learn. And when you learn, you grow.

  10. Travel every chance you get. Recognizing that the world is so much bigger than you is truly a humbling experience.

  11. Don’t be Afraid to Ask For Help. This is never a sign of weakness. In fact, asking for help is a sign of strength and intelligence. No one has gotten to where they are today without the help of someone else.

  12. Try new things and revisit the ones you hated years ago. You’d be surprised how much your likes and dislikes change over the years.

  13. Keep in touch. Call your parents and family members.

    1. Be On Time. Don’t be “that person” (aka the asshole) who is NEVER on time and who is always at least 30 mins late. Spoiler Alert: NO ONE likes to wait for you.

  14. Know and accept your strengths and weaknesses. We can’t be good at everything. It’s okay to suck at something. We all do.

  15. Enjoy that metabolism. Live it up now, girl. Live. It. Up!!!!!!! Because after awhile, you’ll wonder how and why you have fat in places you NEVER even imagined.

  16. Live in the moment. If that means putting down your phone, camera and other distractions while on vacation to take in the moment. Then, do it!

  17. Let shit go! Stop living in the past, because holding grudges is soooooooo junior year in high school.

  18. Know when to walk away. Ask yourself, is this situation good for my soul?

  19. Stop apologizing. You said it. You meant it. Now stand behind it (good, bad or indifferent).

  20. Always tell the truth and do the right thing no matter what.

  21. Be a person of your word. Nothing is worse than someone who makes big promises and flakes or doesn’t follow through. It’s rude and disrespectful. Just don’t do it.

  22. Speak up and be vocal if you have a problem. No one will ever know you are upset unless you say something.

  23. Learn to talk things through before they blow up and become a HUGE issue.

  24. Drink your water.

  25. See a doctor at least 1x/year. Physical health is so important. And that especially means, no skipping out on the OB-GYN.

  26. It’s ok to cry.

  27. You are worthy of being heard. Your opinion or view on something matters.

  28. Be careful what you say. Some things are hard to come back from.

  29. Never stop learning. Don’t forget, school is never out for the pro. No matter how much you know, you still don’t know it all. Stay humble and keep learning.

  30. You can ascend higher and past your circumstances and the life you’ve been dealt. The past lives and the sins of our fathers should not determine how far you will go in life.

  31. Don’t be afraid to cuss. Screw the judgements about profanity being “unladylike”. And middle finger salute the assumptions about your fleeting intelligence when using colorful language . Truth is, sometimes a good cuss word (or 2 or 3) can really be freeing.

  32. Be an energy giver and not an energy taker in all relationships and interactions.

  33. Find someone who believes in you more than you believe in yourself. Not someone who blows smoke up your ass. Someone who recognizes your greatness before you do.

  34. You don’t owe any explanation to anyone. PERIOD

  35. People will ALWAYS have an opinion. And more often than not, their opinion is completely irrelevant to anything going on in your life. Are they paying your bills? Are they employing you? I’m just saying . . .

  36. It’s ok to just listen and not give advice. Sometimes someone just needs a receptive ear.

  37. It’s ok to walk away from a toxic relationship or friendship. Protect your peace at all costs.

  38. Always make sure to say “I love you” to the ones you love.

  39. Find a partner who makes you feel valued, loved and protected. Everyone deserves this.

  40. A relationship is ALWAYS a partnership, NEVER a dictatorship.

  41. Let’s Keep These Good Vibes Going

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